A River of Loss

This season, I have born witness to grief and loss all around me.  Aloft Healing Studios has experienced acute loss of loved ones, and it has been a time of deep sadness and mourning in our shared community.  I’ve been spared from my own particular personal losses this season, but I am acutely aware of the pain experienced all around me and that in the end, no human is spared from loss and suffering.  The last time I checked, the Earth mortality rate is 100%. 

In this season of loss, a question that has been hovering in the air is why.  Why did this happen?  Why did I journey so far only to not get what I long for?  Why do any of us experience suffering and loss?  Why is there injustice?  I have exactly zero answers for these questions.  The point of loss and pain is often lost to me too. 

And I wonder if instead of trying to answer these why questions, we might instead turn our awareness to where.  Where in our world do we encounter death?  Where in the natural world are there patterns and cycles of dying?  Where in the course of human history have there been stories of loss and dissolution?  And if we focus on where, we find the pattern repeats itself over and over again, within the individual, within the community, within nature, within the history of the world.  There is death in every story, just as there is transformation and renewal. 

We are quickly approaching the winter solstice, the time of year when we experience our longest night.  Nature has turned bitter and cold and the vivid, vibrant colors of fall have given way to bare trees and stark landscapes.  The world as we experience it has died so the mulching and regenerative process can begin, deep underground and unseen for now.  And in the annual story of our seasons, the rich history of shared humanity, and in the story of our cosmos, there is not a place untouched by death and loss.  And in that shared experience and commonality, we can find reconnection, remembrance, and a repatterning amidst the pain.

I was given the gift of remembrance this week.  In holding space for her loss, a client created a special memorial and altar for her deceased loved one.  She shared her loved one’s favorite things, her lessons of generosity and irreverence, and we listened to her favorite music and ate her favorite spinach and artichoke dip.  In the moment of her deepest grief, there was also love, play, and generativity.  No words I write can ever quite touch the experience of that moment or the embodiment of grief, but in our shared ritual together we remembered and connected.  With her permission, I share a poem from her memorial.

Aloft will hold our first annual Longest Night ritual gathering on December 21, and I invite each of you to join us as we honor reconnection, remembrance, and a repatterning of our lives amidst the darkness.

A Ritual Gathering: Longest Night Tickets, Sun, Dec 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM | Eventbrite

May each of you find peace and comfort this season.

Cassie